[She has been enthusiastic, why woudn't she be? Claudia had asked her specifically to invite others and she'd done just that. What Diva hadn't expected however was to be so upset over what she perceived as injustice toward Claudia. The little Queen doesn't exactly have many friends in the world, after all, and so those she has (or at least thinks she has) are important to her.
What Rafa had explicitly told her about the other woman had left her empathizing more than she thought she would, to the point she'd projected her own frustrations Rafa's way. It wasn't fair. Okay, sure, life wasn't fair...but the life Claudia had been cursed to live?
That was perhaps the most unfair thing she'd heard in quite some time.]
[It's not a sentiment she particularly disagrees with. Even Louis, with all that she loves him, often drives her mad with annoyance. This, of course, isn't always his own fault. In any case, it's a surprise to hear that Diva feels the same, as Louis never particularly does much on his own to inspire such frustration.]
[They both readily agree about their distaste for him.]
But I thought Louis would have more care for you. A parent should always put their children first, no matter what, above all and everyone else. I say that as a mother myself. I thought that he would at least stop by to your party...but I feel now that he won't.
[And clearly, this upsets her. A lot.]
After what they both made you endure, the least he could do is show his face.
[Claudia steeps her fingers together, nodding her head downward slightly in understanding.]
I invited him, myself, of course. He did tell me that he would be unable to attend.
[As always, she hardly emotes in her speech, but Diva knows her well enough now that she should be able to catch the way her eyes flash--for once, not in anger, but instead, in disappointment. She, too, had certainly hoped he could make it, if only for a moment or two.]
[She peels herself up off the seat into a more upright position, hopping to her feet to pace around the office instead.]
Don't you think it is? I didn't invite him because you said you were but Rafa told me as much that he wouldn't come and Louis probably wouldn't because of Lestat...
[The angry side of her, yes, says it's perfectly unacceptable. The rest of her, the logic and reason, has changed the overall nature of her hurt to anguish.]
I suppose what I think is irrelevant. I fear that setting such standards will only ensure that I have no chance at seeing Louis for as long as I may live. Lestat takes pleasure in wounding me, and Louis...
[Claudia sighs, and her shoulders slump as well.]
What can I say? I do not doubt that he loves me, still, but the love of a father to his daughter is, for him, nothing compared to the love he has for his maker. He will not cross Lestat. No one is permitted to cross Lestat.
Lestat is nothing special. I don't understand the fuss people make over him. Louis should grow a spine and do what's right, or else he has no right to call himself your father.
[Mm...that sweet, sweet projection. She walks over to the other woman, reaching out to clasp her hands within her own and squeeze them.]
I'm sorry, Claudia. You don't deserve such cruelty. You never have.
[Claudia bows her head toward their joined hands.]
I am not so strong as you, I fear. When I think of losing Louis forever...I am overcome with misery. I cannot help but soften myself, even at the cost of my own heart.
[And as for the sentiment of the way she's been treated, she certainly has some things to say.]
It's to be expected, that someone would defend the actions of the one they love, but when I am spoken to as if my life has been without struggle...I simply cannot understand.
[Diva can understand that at least, not wanting to lose someone when people like them barely had anyone to begin with. Even so, it's not fair. It's not right and it makes her upset.]
As someone who endured torture and hardship...I can say without a doubt you suffered and struggled beyond measure. Perhaps they don't understand because they're men, but as another woman to have all the opportunities we should be granted stripped away is beyond cruel. To deny that is simply spitting in your face.
[She snarls a bit at that, fangs bared, squeezing Claudia's hands tightly, but she manages to calm herself.]
I make excuses for Tsurugi all the time. He is anything but perfect...but I know that he would put the life of our children before even my life and I would do the same. Any parent who is unwilling to do so doesn't deserve to be one.
Perhaps you are right. I've never known any other parents; I have no memory of the ones who first brought me into the world. Traditional parenting is something I've only ever witnessed from the outside, and could never truly understand.
[Still, she would never wish to be a mother, now, knowing that she lacked that knowledge, and knowing how she felt being a child, herself, struggling to learn and grow in ways that she would always fail.]
There is an insidiousness to many abuses, I feel, that men are able to overlook and forgive so long as the damage does not appear on the surface.
I had no parents at all. My father would have died centuries and centuries ago and my mother was a mummified corpse when I was born. I always wanted parents but I never got them...my twin however had that experience.
[Technically more than once.]
All I know is that when Tsurugi and I's children hatch I'm going to do everything I can do be the best mother I can be.
[Not that they'll ever hatch. The cocoons are empty, but as long as Diva remains unaware of the fact she'll continue living on in relative bliss.]
Of course they're able to overlook it...it's what they do best, is it not?
And yet, through all that, we persevere, do we not?
[Standing, Claudia works her way around the desk with their hands still clasped together, so she can stand more closely to her friend.]
Regardless of how anyone may view you, you are as insightful as you are strong.
[It can't be denied that Diva can be prone to flights of fancy, but Claudia is finding more and more that underneath all of that, the other woman has a litany of experiences she can call back upon. Perhaps that's the virtue of living for a couple of centuries, but still, it's valuable.]
[The surprise on Diva's face is almost comical as she stares back at Claudia, still processing the compliment she just received. Insightful? She thought that of her? In all honesty, Diva can't exactly remember anyone calling her insightful.]
Really? You think so?
[Initial surprise gives way to a smile as she tilts her head slightly, delighted.]
Most people don't have a good opinion of me, let alone think I'm insightful. A lot of people think I'm stupid.
[The Chiropteran's smile splits then into a wide grin, fangs pointy and pearly white as she lets go of Claudia's hands, only to tug the other woman into her arms for a squeeze. It's a big, dramatic hug, but it's a genuine display of gratefulness out of Diva.]
[Claudia isn't a hugger. She's hardly much for even holding hands. She accepts the embrace--as surprised as it takes her by, and her own touch to Diva's back is hasty and unpracticed before she pulls back, holding her at arm's length, but with a gentleness to the way she keeps her hands on Diva's arms.]
Enough of this anger, then. It's the holidays, is it not? Tell me of happier things. You talk of children as if you are expecting them. Imminently?
[Thankfully Diva isn't really all that aware of Claudia's discomfort. She's much too pleased over the praises she's just been given. Arms length is still acceptable so long as the contact isn't broken, which it's not.]
Oh! [She presses the tips of her dainty fingers together.] Well not imminently...I don't really know how long it'll take for them to hatch.
[It's the second time that Diva's used the term "hatch" and Claudia ushers her back to the loveseat, sitting down with her. She's eager both to learn about this strain of vampirism that Diva possesses as well as to stray away from the topic of her own family. There's no jealousy at the idea of the other woman having a family; only the curiosity of a scholar.]
Will you tell me about them? I'm sure you're well aware, vampires like me are unable to produce biological children. I've always wanted to learn more about our species in all ways--and that includes all that you are, as well.
Of course! If you really wish to know about them and of what I am.
[Ah yes, Diva's favourite topic - herself.]
Let me find a picture...[She picks up her device to start scrolling through the picture gallery, before finding one of the more recent images she's taken of her and Tsurugi's brood. She hands over her phone so Claudia can get a better look.] Ah, here! Aren't they soooo cute?
[If two creepy cocoons wrapped in blue bows could be considered cute? Sure. Then they was adorable.]
The left one is Kanade and the right one is Hibiki. Tsurugi cut them out of me over a year ago...but they still haven't hatched yet. I'm not worried though. I mean, I don't know how long it took for Saya and I to hatch from ours.
[Her expression seems to turn a bit more reflective then, as her hands settle between her knees.]
Although...I'll admit I'm worried Tsurugi might not be around to see it happen someday.
[Which would unfortunately be the case. They were ultimately empty husks, much like two unfertilized eggs from a bird, but made from a peculiar silk that had hardened into an unbreakable barrier. Nothing would be coming out of them...but ignorance is bliss, is it not? For Diva and Tsurugi it surly was.]
[They've apparently reached a certain level in their relationship, and Claudia isn't so sure what to make of it. She looks at the digital photograph in a mixture of confusion and wonder. So, she produces eggs, of a sort, that need to be removed from inside of her body.]
Diva, you truly are a wonder.
[And, truthfully, she'd love to document everything she could possibly discover about this particular species of vampire. Still, she tries to keep her curiosity contained, considering the personal nature of the conversation between them. Claudia hands back phone.]
You think it may take longer than a mortal's lifetime? Could you not simply turn him?
[It seems the logical choice, as far as she can tell.]
There's something about her being called that that has her face growing warm, a soft pink taking hold of her cheeks. It's been some time since someone has seen her in such a regard and it feels nice to have such recognition. The question though has her gaze falling onto the screen of her phone, staring at the photograph of what had been the result of her and Tsurugi's first union together.]
Admittedly...I don't know how long my twin and I were inside our mother's corpse. Trust me, there's nothing I want more than to turn him! But...he's not ready for that. I promised I'd give him time so I'm trying to give him what he asked for. I'm afraid of losing him but I don't want him to hate me for eternity either.
[Claudia couldn't...wouldn't want to understand what it would be like to experience having a corpse for a mother. She's glad that she couldn't remember what her own mother had been like, how the woman had died. It feels like it would be too much to bear, having that loss to recall.]
I see...
[She has no advice to give. Her experience in love was ill-fated, to put it gently.]
He's still young. Hopefully he will come to understand how hard it would be for you, to watch him grow old, knowing you would one day lose him completely.
[Claudia hesitates. Choice is not something that she's known much of, in her lifetime. She's well aware she would have likely repeated history in that regard, had she been strong enough to turn anyone herself, before coming here. That knowledge puts her on edge.]
[It's something Diva hopes for, in all honesty, that Tsurugi will eventually come around and see the light. She keeps Armand's words in her mind, as if to remind her. He had said it would be selfish of her to simply expect him to give up his mortal life when he'd only spent a fraction of it with her.]
It's hard to Claudia. Truly, it is...but he'll let me some day. I know it.
[Or at least that's what she tells herself. Patience has never been a virtue of Diva's and Tsurugi is the most patient she's ever been with anyone.]
[Claudia, though well spoken, has never been one for many words. The things she can express have always been more meaningful in silence. And so, as she had done before, instead of offering any further words of sympathy or advice--Claudia takes Diva's hand once more, holding it between her own.]
[Diva may be a chatty creature but her words aren't always coherent or nice to hear. Well spoken isn't something one could attribute to her. Even so, this quiet understanding the Chiropteran receives from the other woman has her calming, to revel in the silence as well, as her hands are held.]
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[She has been enthusiastic, why woudn't she be? Claudia had asked her specifically to invite others and she'd done just that. What Diva hadn't expected however was to be so upset over what she perceived as injustice toward Claudia. The little Queen doesn't exactly have many friends in the world, after all, and so those she has (or at least thinks she has) are important to her.
What Rafa had explicitly told her about the other woman had left her empathizing more than she thought she would, to the point she'd projected her own frustrations Rafa's way. It wasn't fair. Okay, sure, life wasn't fair...but the life Claudia had been cursed to live?
That was perhaps the most unfair thing she'd heard in quite some time.]
I want to throw your fathers into the ocean.
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[It's not a sentiment she particularly disagrees with. Even Louis, with all that she loves him, often drives her mad with annoyance. This, of course, isn't always his own fault. In any case, it's a surprise to hear that Diva feels the same, as Louis never particularly does much on his own to inspire such frustration.]
What for at this venture, pray tell?
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[They both readily agree about their distaste for him.]
But I thought Louis would have more care for you. A parent should always put their children first, no matter what, above all and everyone else. I say that as a mother myself. I thought that he would at least stop by to your party...but I feel now that he won't.
[And clearly, this upsets her. A lot.]
After what they both made you endure, the least he could do is show his face.
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[Claudia steeps her fingers together, nodding her head downward slightly in understanding.]
I invited him, myself, of course. He did tell me that he would be unable to attend.
[As always, she hardly emotes in her speech, but Diva knows her well enough now that she should be able to catch the way her eyes flash--for once, not in anger, but instead, in disappointment. She, too, had certainly hoped he could make it, if only for a moment or two.]
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[She peels herself up off the seat into a more upright position, hopping to her feet to pace around the office instead.]
Don't you think it is? I didn't invite him because you said you were but Rafa told me as much that he wouldn't come and Louis probably wouldn't because of Lestat...
[She pauses, shoulders slumping.]
It truly isn't fair.
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[The angry side of her, yes, says it's perfectly unacceptable. The rest of her, the logic and reason, has changed the overall nature of her hurt to anguish.]
I suppose what I think is irrelevant. I fear that setting such standards will only ensure that I have no chance at seeing Louis for as long as I may live. Lestat takes pleasure in wounding me, and Louis...
[Claudia sighs, and her shoulders slump as well.]
What can I say? I do not doubt that he loves me, still, but the love of a father to his daughter is, for him, nothing compared to the love he has for his maker. He will not cross Lestat. No one is permitted to cross Lestat.
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[Mm...that sweet, sweet projection. She walks over to the other woman, reaching out to clasp her hands within her own and squeeze them.]
I'm sorry, Claudia. You don't deserve such cruelty. You never have.
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[Claudia bows her head toward their joined hands.]
I am not so strong as you, I fear. When I think of losing Louis forever...I am overcome with misery. I cannot help but soften myself, even at the cost of my own heart.
[And as for the sentiment of the way she's been treated, she certainly has some things to say.]
It's to be expected, that someone would defend the actions of the one they love, but when I am spoken to as if my life has been without struggle...I simply cannot understand.
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As someone who endured torture and hardship...I can say without a doubt you suffered and struggled beyond measure. Perhaps they don't understand because they're men, but as another woman to have all the opportunities we should be granted stripped away is beyond cruel. To deny that is simply spitting in your face.
[She snarls a bit at that, fangs bared, squeezing Claudia's hands tightly, but she manages to calm herself.]
I make excuses for Tsurugi all the time. He is anything but perfect...but I know that he would put the life of our children before even my life and I would do the same. Any parent who is unwilling to do so doesn't deserve to be one.
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[Still, she would never wish to be a mother, now, knowing that she lacked that knowledge, and knowing how she felt being a child, herself, struggling to learn and grow in ways that she would always fail.]
There is an insidiousness to many abuses, I feel, that men are able to overlook and forgive so long as the damage does not appear on the surface.
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[Technically more than once.]
All I know is that when Tsurugi and I's children hatch I'm going to do everything I can do be the best mother I can be.
[Not that they'll ever hatch. The cocoons are empty, but as long as Diva remains unaware of the fact she'll continue living on in relative bliss.]
Of course they're able to overlook it...it's what they do best, is it not?
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[Standing, Claudia works her way around the desk with their hands still clasped together, so she can stand more closely to her friend.]
Regardless of how anyone may view you, you are as insightful as you are strong.
[It can't be denied that Diva can be prone to flights of fancy, but Claudia is finding more and more that underneath all of that, the other woman has a litany of experiences she can call back upon. Perhaps that's the virtue of living for a couple of centuries, but still, it's valuable.]
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Really? You think so?
[Initial surprise gives way to a smile as she tilts her head slightly, delighted.]
Most people don't have a good opinion of me, let alone think I'm insightful. A lot of people think I'm stupid.
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[She considers herself to be quite perceptive, after all. There's more to many that meet the eye.]
Those who treat you that way, let them carry on with their false assumptions. Let them underestimate you; it will be far easier to destroy them.
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I'm glad Claudia...I really, truly am.
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Enough of this anger, then. It's the holidays, is it not? Tell me of happier things. You talk of children as if you are expecting them. Imminently?
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Oh! [She presses the tips of her dainty fingers together.] Well not imminently...I don't really know how long it'll take for them to hatch.
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Will you tell me about them? I'm sure you're well aware, vampires like me are unable to produce biological children. I've always wanted to learn more about our species in all ways--and that includes all that you are, as well.
cw: for creepy cocoons and fucked xenobiology
[Ah yes, Diva's favourite topic - herself.]
Let me find a picture...[She picks up her device to start scrolling through the picture gallery, before finding one of the more recent images she's taken of her and Tsurugi's brood. She hands over her phone so Claudia can get a better look.] Ah, here! Aren't they soooo cute?
[If two creepy cocoons wrapped in blue bows could be considered cute? Sure. Then they was adorable.]
The left one is Kanade and the right one is Hibiki. Tsurugi cut them out of me over a year ago...but they still haven't hatched yet. I'm not worried though. I mean, I don't know how long it took for Saya and I to hatch from ours.
[Her expression seems to turn a bit more reflective then, as her hands settle between her knees.]
Although...I'll admit I'm worried Tsurugi might not be around to see it happen someday.
[Which would unfortunately be the case. They were ultimately empty husks, much like two unfertilized eggs from a bird, but made from a peculiar silk that had hardened into an unbreakable barrier. Nothing would be coming out of them...but ignorance is bliss, is it not? For Diva and Tsurugi it surly was.]
tfw your friend shows you her cocoons
Diva, you truly are a wonder.
[And, truthfully, she'd love to document everything she could possibly discover about this particular species of vampire. Still, she tries to keep her curiosity contained, considering the personal nature of the conversation between them. Claudia hands back phone.]
You think it may take longer than a mortal's lifetime? Could you not simply turn him?
[It seems the logical choice, as far as she can tell.]
bonding experience
There's something about her being called that that has her face growing warm, a soft pink taking hold of her cheeks. It's been some time since someone has seen her in such a regard and it feels nice to have such recognition. The question though has her gaze falling onto the screen of her phone, staring at the photograph of what had been the result of her and Tsurugi's first union together.]
Admittedly...I don't know how long my twin and I were inside our mother's corpse. Trust me, there's nothing I want more than to turn him! But...he's not ready for that. I promised I'd give him time so I'm trying to give him what he asked for. I'm afraid of losing him but I don't want him to hate me for eternity either.
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I see...
[She has no advice to give. Her experience in love was ill-fated, to put it gently.]
He's still young. Hopefully he will come to understand how hard it would be for you, to watch him grow old, knowing you would one day lose him completely.
[Claudia hesitates. Choice is not something that she's known much of, in her lifetime. She's well aware she would have likely repeated history in that regard, had she been strong enough to turn anyone herself, before coming here. That knowledge puts her on edge.]
It is...good of you, to respect his decision.
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It's hard to Claudia. Truly, it is...but he'll let me some day. I know it.
[Or at least that's what she tells herself. Patience has never been a virtue of Diva's and Tsurugi is the most patient she's ever been with anyone.]
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...Thanks for listening to me.
[Not many do.]